Ingredients:

Week old bagels

Cooking oil

Honey

To properly prepare this recipe you will need a fry pan, a cooler with serveral inches of melted ice water and two large plates.

Begin by stretching the foodstuffs planned for a 5 day trip into a week by catching fish for dinner and eating that night’s noodles or rice for breakfast. Proper food rationing will leave your party with nothing left but a bag of week old bagels, a small quantity of cooking oil and the dregs of a jar of honey, calculated to be the minimum caloric requirements for paddle-out day.

Place the bagels in a loosely tied plastic bag and deposit bag in cooler overnight. DO NOT empty the cooler bilge water before retiring for the evening.

By breakfast the following morning the bagels will be fully saturated and resemble a doughy 570×8 trailer tire, though less appetizing.

Place each engorged bagel on the back of an aluminum serving plate and position another plate atop the bagel. Kneel or stand on the top plate until approximately a half-gallon of water is expelled. The de-saturated bagel will now resemble a 175 gram Frissbee after a muddy game of Ultimate, but will be slightly chewier.

Heat cooking oil in fry pan, tear Frisbee bagel into bite sized pieces and fry until crisp (or at least less sodden) while making “Mmmmmm” sounds. Drizzel with last of honey and arrange on serving plate with garnish of blueberries.

Serves four. More if your companions are finicky eaters.